Britain''s national weather service has issued its first ''existential weather warning'' as forecasters admit they have simply run out of ways to say wet.
Artificial intelligence has replaced a quarter of a million UK workers and now earns a combined salary of £0, putting it in a lower tax bracket than a part-time dog walker.
A new survey of departing high earners says the main push factor is the presence of a Labour government, not the headline tax rate, prompting a rush on softer curtains abroad.
New five-tier alert system ranges from ''Damp'' to ''Atlantis'' as 90 flood warnings hit England simultaneously.
A fairer country where everyone is seen and valued, with wealth creation in every community. Release notes follow; rollout window to be determined.
Policy bundle announced: ILR set to 10 years, new citizens promised 160-year lifespans, and pregnancy 'streamlined' to 20 weeks. Great, Britain.
Britain shrugs at a central ID while face-scanning phones, clubcards and doorbells track most things already; Tesco has tomorrow’s dinner planned.
Reform UK gets its wish: ILR scrapped, benefits cut, "British-only" tax code, deportations promised. Result: jobs and spending flee; Treasury begs excluded taxpayers to return.
In a groundbreaking decision, the Monetary Policy Committee has identified 4% as the mathematical sweet spot for ensuring maximum public frustration across all demographics.
WalkrAI secures £50m funding for its Large Walking Models that offer "hyper-optimised pedestrian solutions" to the age-old problem of putting one foot in front of the other.
In a bold new move to tackle the nationwide productivity slump and rising domestic tensions, the government has announced a new "Spousal Support Scheme."
In a stroke of genius, the council has unveiled a new levy on residents who express dissatisfaction with existing levies, creating a 'perfectly closed financial loop'.
In a landmark policy shift, the Ministry of Housing has declared that any space with 'at least one wall and a general sense of shelter' now qualifies as a home.
Groundbreaking research suggests the restorative benefits of sleep can be fully replicated by staring at the ceiling and mentally replaying every mistake you've ever made.
Nation convenes outside a Post Office to democratically decide which queue to join next, pending a queue to vote on it; experts warn this could take all afternoon.
Ministers announce targeted drizzle to boost sales of umbrellas, kettles, and mild complaints across the UK.
Officials reassure public that a ‘multi-decade warm front’ is firmly pencilled in, subject to weather.
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