Government Solves Housing Crisis by Redefining 'Indoors'

The government has officially solved the housing crisis overnight by radically redefining the term “indoors.” Under the new “Roofs Optional” policy, millions of citizens will be reclassified as homeowners.

A spokesperson for the Ministry of Housing, speaking from a freshly designated “Residential Zone” (formerly a bus stop), hailed the move as a triumph of bureaucratic innovation. “We’ve expanded the definition of a ‘home’ to include any space that offers partial protection from the elements and a theoretical postcode,” he announced.

The new classification system includes categories like “Al Fresco Studios” (park benches), “Semi-Detached Billboards,” and “Gated Communities” (areas with a fence on at least one side).

“By thinking outside the box—and in some cases, without the box entirely—we have made housing affordable for everyone,” the spokesperson added, before his presentation was cut short by a passing shower. The government has already declared the policy a success, citing a 1,000% increase in homeownership.