15/08/2025 · UK · 1 min read
Local Man Confirms Umbrella Is 'Optimistic Prop'
After three gusts and one inversion incident, a commuter declares the umbrella a ceremonial object symbolising hope rather than a functional device.
Witnesses reported spirited flailing, followed by stoic dampness.
As a veteran of three broken spokes, I can confirm hope is waterproof until the first gust.